Treading Water

Ugh that sinking feeling.I fight that feeling with all the willpower I possess, or at least that I believe I possess, there could be more I guess. The current’s strong though. My head keeps going under. So far, thankfully, it’s only dipping below the surface. But I’m getting tired, exhausted, seriously fatigued. Could be my fault, but it’s hard to see clearly. I keep searching for the horizon, for something beyond what’s immediately in front of me.I succeed only fleetingly.I long for solid ground, sunrises and sunsets, peace of mind.
I worry that I’ll dip beneath and keep dropping. That’ll make it worse, so much worse. I’m needed. It’s important I keep fighting. I’m just not sure how long I can last. Motivation isn’t lacking, I can find 500 different reasons why I can’t let go, why I shouldn’t let go, but God it’s hard. It would be such a relief just to shut down for a while, drift for a bit, enjoy the ride. But right now I have to swim against the tide.I hope the destination is worth it. I need the destination to be worth it.
Meanwhile I’ll pray that I’m not too blind to spot the life preserver when it’s thrown my way.